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This resource is hosted by the Nelson Mandela Foundation, but was compiled and authored by Padraig O’Malley. It is the product of almost two decades of research and includes analyses, chronologies, historical documents, and interviews from the apartheid and post-apartheid eras.


Received Wednesday 22nd February 1989

Wed: Dearest Gemma [Zarina] , welcome back to the family – despite the distance I am with you in every way. I envy you and the kids and dearly wish I cld also be with you all. Janet tells me you have returned full of beans and the kids are wonderful. I can imagine how your presence would have created a globe of warmth around you three. Even more reassuring is her report that we have you back on the way to a full mend. We may tread under a lucky star but it seems also that we are destined to live with shocks that frighten the hell out of us. Pls send me a photo of you and kids since your return. And do not forget I am yearning to hear news directly from you. Trust that despite the circumstances, you found your stay with big S pleasant. Tell Janet I shall send a note of thanks etc to him. Pls give best regards to those you can. What can I say in such a short note about myself? Of course, we live under tremendous pressure – fortunately we have a clear and enriched perception of where Vula is heading – and that gives us the will to move our (no, my) tired bones and overcome frustrations (as well as exasperation at times). Despite these pressures, I am determined to keep up with the journal – tho time is at such a premium. Touch wood that I shall be able to write another installment in time for John. Right now my biggest yearning is to gather you and the kids tightly in my arms and never let you go. Deepest love always and always from your Tony [Zarina].

Received Monday 27th February 1989

Mon 27th : Any news from Elsa [Zarina]? Herewith msg for her. Pls send soon as today is our anniversary. I was hoping to get it to you yesterday but couldn't get a line on TS : My dearest Elsa, Especially with you in warm embrace for the years we have had together and for the years still to come. Your love, the commitment we share and our determination to live out our lives together despite these turbulent times so full of separation and loneliness, the delightful family we nonetheless are building, have been and are my source of strength. Whatever happens, this oneness of ours is a core that is inviolate to all the assaults that the enemy can launch against us and the struggle which is our life. Deepest love to you and the children. Look forward to hearing from you. Always your Tony [Zarina]

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